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finding life in ambivalent places

finding life in ambivalent places
 

i can't find me...

it's been a long time since i last posted, and i've thought about it a lot. but i sit in front of my computer hoping to find something nice to say, and i just feel sad. i feel sad a lot these days. i feel so much loss - so much so that i feel lost myself. and not in some scary, i'm completely depressed and i have no identity way, but in some scary, i'm feeling more than i've ever let myself feel before and the weight of it all makes it hard to find me kind of way.

so...i still love rosie thomas, and i got her new album (thanks for the tip, mere) and i'm loving her kite song these days. i'm not sure where the here is that i'm wanting to go away from, or who the you is that i want to go away with, but there's something in her longing that feels familiar, and it makes me feel like maybe it's okay to feel the way i'm feeling.

[i don't know how to post a link to the actual song - maybe someone can help me sometime. but until then, here are the lyrics...]


Oh tie me to the end of a kite
So I can go on I can go on with my life
Every marigold I pass below will be my guiding light
I just want to go away from here

Oh tie me to the end of a kite
So I can go on I can go on with my life
Every time the wind blows stronger I will feel my spirit rise
I just want to go away from here

Oh tie me ever tightly by your side
So I may go with you wherever you reside
Any time the road looks dimmer I will be your guiding light
I just want to go away with you

I just want to go away with you.




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