finding life in ambivalent places

today was my grandpa's funeral. last night his wife and three sons went with their families to a viewing of his body at the funeral home. we went to look at my grandpa laid out in a coffin; but it wasn't my grandpa. i said (and my family will remind me) how weird it was multiple times. it was strange to see an empty body in front of me, something that looked sort of like my grandpa, but his face wasn't lit up with a smile. we cried and we looked at the flowers that people had sent, and it was weird for awhile. and then my dad stood up and started telling stories about my grandpa, in a demonstrative manner which he got from his dad (and i got from mine). and we laughed. i have never laughed with my aunts and uncles and cousins and grandma like that before. and i'm sad that it took my grandpa's death to make it okay for us to laugh like that, but it was wonderful. it felt like we were really together. and all the while, the empty body that used to hold my grandpa laid in a coffin in front of us. weird. when did we start this tradition anyway? and maybe a better question is, why?

and today, there he was again, in the coffin in the front of the church. and there were more stories told, and pictures, and we laughed and we cried. and as we walked out behind the coffin after the service was over, i was blown away by how many people were there. my dad had told us there would be standing room only, but to see people waiting not only in the front lobby of the church, but standing outside the church building, was incredible. my grandpa touched a lot of people's lives. and we were touched by their presence today.

tonight we ate mexican food and drank wine and sat outside on the back porch, talking about the day and remembering my grandpa. and it was good.

This entry was posted on Friday, February 09, 2007 at 9:10 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.